Past couple of days are some of the worst. But life should go on, and never stops. There should be something you linger to. A dream, a hope, a wish, vacation, going out, a friend’s phone call.. Didn’t I tell you before, we spend most of our life waiting :) ?
Something inside you always wake you up when you go down, something hidden, mysterious.. away from any concrete abstracts. Something tells me I deserve a better life somewhere. And so, I do not like being down. I hate being sad… I hate passing days with continuous news each one is worst than the other.
I say, enough frustrations for the time being. Moemen wrote
a post in his blog and I 2nd with every single beat in my heart. And just.. I do not know.. and I do not know when I’d know… I am feeling sad with a heavy heart.
Hours ago I was working on my digital integrated circuits report. One hell of another torture. Never mind the usual list of curses regarding college, people, lecturer.. etc. but here it goes, I opened my English play list and listened. Its been ages haven’t heard a thing.. Arabic took part of my daily life, and so I gave up on English just like how I gave up listening to ELS, gave up DXing, gave up English books, gave up phoning friends..
But wonder why, today while listening to the songs at random, it sounded much prettier than usual. The same play list, same usual rhyme.. but it was sweeter.
Was it that I missed my songs? Or missed myself listening to them? Or just missed any sort of the slightest change in life?
There is always something missing. Something I can’t define. Something I need but can’t find. Can’t know where to start searching or whom to ask.
There are people I need in my life, but when I need them the most, they are lost. Lost in life or the wider space. They are no longer here.. and I keep pitying the moments passing.
Regreting is one of my finest traits.
I try to cut it down, but of no use. You know what, sometimes that inner call tells me never to regret. Just be happy, you are still having the choice to do mistakes.
Would you believe it is so..?!
Hmm, blubbering again and again.. I do not have someone to talk to tonight, while I am in bad need to uncharged..
No, actually there are a lot on my list, but I am appearing offline as usual. Just not in the mood for talking seriously, even though I would dye to call the 1st number on my mobile whoever s/he is.
Sometimes I believe “lasto adri” or “I do not know” is the best title I got for myself after “Blue”.. I am sad without knowing what I want for real or what would turn me high again. I want to be attractive, smart, friendly, cultured, wise… I do not know… other moments I think the best thing I have in life is to keep the people I cherish till forever. But always, forever rushes very fast.
