Sunday, April 27, 2008

In the middle of the road


It’s 1:30 am, and I can’t sleep. I have a headache since 5 pm may be, and till now I just can not sleep. You know when the pain is coming through your eyes and from the back of your neck till the very center of your head.
El La3na 3l sodaa3..

2 days ago I was thinking about my life and I highly considered taking a pause. Its very early for one, but I should monitor myself, where am I heading in 5 years from now. And so far I found me reaching no where I’ve imagined to my self.
I admit it, I don’t have a clear, sharp and focused vision for my future life. But at least I am sure its not where I am starting now.
I stopped reading like since a month ago. Stopped listening to new music. Stopped working my handy crafts. Stopped attending my gym sessions periodically. Stopped learning driving, or at least searching for a good school to practice. God! I stopped watching movies. I stopped walking. I stopped writing. I stopped talking with my parents. I stopped FUNCTIONING my brain.
I feel dizzy and over distracted.
El la3na 3l ekt2aab..

I am thinking a lot. I know at least one very satisfying incident happened to me in the last month or so. But you know, I just wish for the rest.. I dream and think. ALLAH knows better, but I have to think and work, and only God makes it going.. that’s what I’m sure of. And that’s what I try to do..
Having more faith in myself. Dreaming I will fit in the place I dream of. I will fetch my vision and write it clear everywhere. I will make that someone as happy as I can. I will write more often. I should write more often.
El la3na 3ala kol el la3anaat..

Mmm…
And my first decision will be ..
I will sleep on time..


"When we think we know all the answers, life comes and changes all the questions."
Anon

5 comments:

He and She said...

How about taking one step forward in the direction of the knight and see maybe he comes to you riding his white house from land so far away from you. Just take the initial step

Lasto-adri *Blue* said...

I dont think I need this anymore right now :)
thanks He & She.. and best of luck

Anonymous said...

Salamat Ya Tadry...
Write Often
Do Forward
Pay It Forward!
You Can...
Amazing is your style,
even when it appears @ the STOP mode, yet you managed to inspire &
Resolve ...
Sleep Manage ...
Dream Manage...
&
Write Often
& I shall ...

Anonymous said...

You are too too young to be in the "Middle of the Road". Try to continue what you are doing ( some work, some fun, and some rest ) while keeping your eyes open for that better fit. You will feel it when it arrives.

By the way, you need to update your profile. You are probably no longer a full time student, and you may have grown up a little older!

A said...

Hey Blue... I do think you should pause for a while and try to identify the direction in which you are heading. We all get into some ups and downs during our lives. But without a clear vision of where we want to go, we'll be wandering blindly into the unknown and just accepting whatever comes into our way.

So, take a timeout. It seems you already envision yourself being somewhere. You just need to adjust your directions (and perhaps priorities) to reach that goal. Just don't let time pass while you are still standing thinking about it. :)

A note

This page is closed, however I will continue blogging in English and Arabic on my new space: http://lastoadri.com/blog Thanks to change RS...