On rage

Terribly hate any male who give himself a damn higher right above any female because he believes he’s a higher creature sent by God to earth! While the truth is (in most cases), if you fetched down deep, those are even more childish than any normal female. They are even childish to a level kids will be embarrassed to think of!

Truly hate them. And if its not for me trying to behave, I would have .. well… burst may be.. Insulted most probably…… m3rafsh… bas all of those should be sentenced to else where… especially ba2a.. ah ba2a those who claim they are talking by religion and say this is 7aram and that is halal m3 nafsohom. And even eeeh! They don’t advise you, but more or less order you.
I bet now (in my case at least) ok.. I’m stubborn and hard headed… and I do “a3nd” and NEVER ever bend or surrender, no matter what I am to lose..

Let me give you an example…. We got a fun day, where each “dof3a” wears a certain t-shirt, representing its college memories. Believe it or not, some of the guys there are actually calling for a “5emar” for girls, and t-shirt for boys! MAN! I don’t wear a 5emar, and will never do. Why would I if I’m convinced with my clothes and even asked about it too?. I like me as who I am. My clothes represent me fully this way.
Let alone what I heard while I was talking to one of my Christian college friends, and her reply was “e7na nt7r2 ba2a!”…. :S
And she got a double point!

I don’t understand. I really don’t understand. I seriously don’t understand why females are making this “kolke3a” in such males’ heads!
I remember the same dof3a when a Lecturer –ALLAH ymaseh bl 5eer- said females must be better treated in our community; they even should get more rights than this. They should learn more than males. They should be higher regarded, higher respected.. And YOU (addressing the dof3a) should –at least- allow them to sit in the 1st rows.. YALHWI! There were demos after trying to take our places! Shof el zo2……

Memo told me to reply harsh on their posts on the forum and make my voice heard enough. Since females should never be afraid, plus such “heads” should always find who “ysokohom”. I’m just acting as how my father told me whenever I’d be in such situation I’d wait till someone answers. If not, I’ll do, provided I quitted being on rage..

And that’s but a sample for the outer society.
OK, thanks guys.. you got me hating it already


PS: Be ware, I’m not 3a2l el fasolya!

News break

Today was one of the strangest. Look, at the morning there was a simple interview in our IC lab for the digital project. (w ml a5r, kont mestabya3a). I didn’t care for anything. As if ba2a, that’s enough with the project, one more question is simple like trying to bring life to a dead body. Soo, the strange talk that happened didn’t really affect me, though the rest of the team went out of the lab with a “miserable sad” look on their faces. Guys! Answer me.. Since when we ever had such kind of oral conversations and we finished victorious!!!

After that, there was a sub meeting for the graduation project for the TinyOS team. I went too, you know, a3’atet shewaya :P.. and there for a second I had a strong feeling that I’m loved by ALLAH. I mean.. well.. the spirit itself I was looking for, and caused me my only 2 break downs I had in life entirely, as if its coming true now. I may be right or wrong, I don’t know. But seriously I LOVE my project team mates, all of them.

In the middle of our talk today, there I had to make a final decision for the optional subject I’m to take. Sadly, I had to choose a subject Bava is not going to have with me. Its like the 1st something we’d split into ever since we’ve known each other. But I couldn’t help it. I can’t study electronics. Not again. I hate it.

As I left them and about to take a bus back home, I met the TA who was with us in the Luxor and Aswan trip. Was really glad to see him. Soo, waved and cheered “aay, how are you.. etc”.. exchanged a little convo keda then every one went on his/her own way. Till I found a bus coming so I stopped it. Believe it or not, he took it with me too. That was fine so far till he actually paid the ticket. I was really searching for a crack in the bus floor to hide. Lol, that was a gentle act! Even though I don’t really like such thing…. You know.. that weird philosophy I have.. blalala… whatever.. I’m back home .. and no need to feel that embarrassed.. not anymore..

When I returned home, believe it or not I found the DSL is baaack! Hurray… so now I’m checking what’s missed in more than 3 weeks back. Phew! That’s a lot! People blubbered A LOT during my virtual absence.. I even got more to blubber myself.. yet as always for the coming couple of months or so, isA.. “No time”..

That was a quick re-cap for today’s memories, more of the same tomorrow morning :P at 9 o hundrerd hours.. make sure to tune in

TADA,, off I sign for PHP & MySQL..

Pages of my life..

I started –hopefully isA- the final term, can you believe it?
I can’t believe it.
I can’t take in that probably after few months isA I’ll have to run a life on my own. How can I make it? How can I adapt myself not going to college?! How…
Gosh.. that’s like.. like.. I don’t know!

Now I’m into the hassle of choosing my elective courses. Simply a headache that takes around couple of weeks at the start of every term, where everything acts as a massive mess. You can’t figure out what you should be doing and what not, which Drs. to join their classes and whom to dump. What reports to deliver and what not!!
Then… puff.. all of a sudden everything goes quite.. life goes on boringly normal for a month may be, till its high time for midterms…
Takh takh takh.. the 3rd world war is on for a week…
A week rest, then the 3rd world war on again till the end of the term..
All the reports, assignments, projects.. etc gather in the so called month between the end of your midterms and the start of the finals. Then silence back again. Either vacation or few un-finished projects, or training.. etc.. most important there ain’t exams anymore..
However, this term is abit different. For after the finals I’ll have a final month to finish the graduation project that apparently I know nothing about till this moment!!!!!

Man.. am I really really talking about 5 years of my life?
As if, my history started and ended within those years, and the previous have been forgotten. I got used to waking up at 6, and returning at 7 or 6 or 5.. I got used to.. I don’t know.. the lecture halls, the fun at the corners, the cafeteria, the class folk..
I got used to me saying “Hello, I’m blah blah blah.. Engineering student”..
Now.. no.. after few months isA.. “Hello, I’m blah blah blah.. and no longer a student”

I mean, I know c’est la vie, everything should be changing.. but I can’t help myself feeling that un-balanced. May be, lack of consciousness. The in-ability to believe a fact..
I’ve been waiting for this over 5 years, yet when its near, I don’t feel much comfortable having it..

Aren’t we all the same human after all?!

Can or can't.. thats the question!

I'm not a genius, but not dump as well. I know I'm smart. Very smart. And for some reason hate me when I forget the fact "no body can be perfect all the time"!

GOSH! I hate it when I feel low self confidence. When I forget everything and act as if I'm nobody.
I hate to be in the focus.. YES!
But hate to be treated as a leftover as well..

I am not good at college. Let me admit it. I'm doing ok, may be less than ok, however, fine. Just the memory that I used to be even better makes me feel sick. Every thing was going very very fine till the curve started to go down "exponentially" and that belittles me infront of other's eyes so I get confused and tend to lose faith in my capabilities, thought I know deep down "I can make it"!

I'm feeling horrible. I'm truly feeling horrible and can't control this "low self esteem" phase I'm having these days with every stumbling block passes my way.. I wish to have the chance to tell those geeks I meet

"Hay hay, nobody is perfect all the time so Stop giving me these looks!"

Bizzy Like a Bee

Yah, Yah, Yah.. I am busy like a bee these days. Look, this post was supposed to be published 2 days ago, and due to the recent updates, I couldn't make it until now, and even now, I'm trying to finish up as quickly as ever.
Look, on the 23rd, I finished my last exam "ASIC" that is, and was horrible, OK, I did horrible. The most horrible exam ever this term. That was expected, First, I didn't do my studying part well, plus the exam was terrible. Anyways, its over and now I got to write my To-Do list!

So let me count the days 1st. My vacation supposedly started on the 23rd of January, and will end by 9th of February. Now its 25th already, ok, I said busy and no wonder.

starting from the 2nd of February I won't be home, then I'm left with exactly 8 days to go.
So in these 8 days I have to finish:

• ASIC project: Design of OTA in a group of 2 under OrCad.
• Digital IC project: Design of a sound system in a group of 5 under VHDL, Xilinx.. so as to be implemented on FPGA.
• Communications systems report: in a group of 2, under Matlab.
• Satellite communication report: Everyone on his/her own, solve all reference problems, and summarize a brand new chapter.
• Graduation project: Install & getting familiar with Linux openSUSE 10.2 & TinyOS, plus intensive search for WNS & the used Kit!
• Extra work: Finish the previous testing lab. experiments before the new term begins.

However, I still wish for:

• Buying new glasses and having eyes check up (my eyes terribly hurt lately)
• Go to the book fair (apparently excluded)
• Go to one of the bloggers' meeting (most probably excluded too)
• Buy new cloths for winter (100% excluded)
• Go to the gem (Will try considering)
• Go to our class meeting (think its canceled already)
• Help mother in house work (Tensa..!)
• Finish reading "El zeni barakat" (I started all ready)
• Watch "If only" & "The holiday"

I can agree if you said "all these stuff are manageable", I can even agree if you said "I had much darker times", yet try to convince me "How on earth I'm going to finish all that in 8 days?!" taking into your consideration "its MY mid-year-vacation" and supposedly the last isA..

Bottom line:
24th of February is not the start of a so-called vacation, BUT marks the start of a new phase.. the "Bizzy like a bee" phase which will not end except: 1. by the end of the 2nd week in August isA this year (ie. after the EED day), or 2. Someone leaves this world in the middle..

Update:

• Done with installing Linux (el 7amd lelah).. Still trying to play MP3s and installing .rpm there.. But so far so good!
• Today my mother returned back home very sick. And yes guess what, I am stuck in here with the whole house work "All Alone"..
• I had the 1st meeting today for the ASIC project, and was terriblllly a @#%@%#$^$$$$$& "we did nothing, and thats not a good omen"..

Sooo

دقت ساعة العمل الثورى

Leave ya in peace, wish me Good Luck..
That's a good night (hopefully)

ASIC effect!

ASIC effect, originally uploaded by lastoadri.

PS: ASIC : Application-specific integrated circuit

(she2 mesh latef 3l se7a!)