20 -full- days left, isA

And so, I’ll be away for a while.. written exams are on till the 11th of June isA, then the start of my practical and oral plus 2 projects ahead. Which means I’d be as busy as a bee till the 1st week of July :D

Anyways, gota say:

“God bless you all” ..

Pray for me :S
And Will be back soon isA ;)

Off, I go..

Today was supposed to be the last official day in college for this year, before the final exams and the start of the summer vacation (hopefully). However, since I wake up tried, so didn’t find whatever will to go and yet stayed home, which declares that yesterday was my official last day in college..

I know it’s not something big for you; and you’d probably say “that’s how it goes all the time, you entered school, spent around 13 years or so, and then went college. Years pass and all of a sudden you’ll find yourself a graduate, working somewhere.. or may be a mother of a punch of naughty children. One day your kids would go to school.. then college… blah blah…”
“Yeah..” that’s how I’d reply. “the train of life do never stop”

But somehow can’t resist feeling that this year was different; the step of maturity I’ve crossed was far beyond my expectations. This year I’ve learnt the meaning of team work, responsibility, sensibility, interaction, and the meaning of care for the real world. Real world in the sense of putting my virtual world aside for a while and looking forward focusing on the present, the ground and the living people! Starting by my dilemma of choosing a way to go (ended by taking electronics and communication systems department as my answer), passing through getting along with difficulties, thinking of being or not being, forgetting hurt..
Simply defining some variables in my life for the coming years to come.

I might not look as happy as last year’s final day, forgive me.. but can’t really imagine that one more year is left (isA) then bufffff.. off we go to a total different journey !
Can’t imagine, no matter how much I hate that place, I might leave it. Though the relatively little time I spent in college, yet somehow the soul of intimacy growing is more than I imagined!

Vague my words might look, but with every letter something is ringing a bell inside my head, a memory or a saying or simply a blurred picture of someone passed by me sometime. Every hall, every corner, every staircase, every tree, every single thing would be always engraved..

Mr. DXer once sent me an email with this intro “People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime”. Yet Only this year was certain of this phrase.. only this year I learnt that leaving memories would always bring heart aches no matter how sweet.. no matter how beautiful they looked at their time..

Love you all,
Blue

Today my heart feels extra sad…

Forget about people, forget about suffocating time and usual stress.. forget about the normal stupid talks or the random lame actions.. forget about the world’s politics or the internal corrupt..
I know the world would still keep turning and the sun would rise again from the east… but I can’t stop my heart from feeling sadness all thru..
Yesterday we had to give up on our flat to live in that new one that I still can’t love… and today.. my father will sell our car for a new wider one !!

I can still remember the day I opened our x-flat’s balcony, was about 4 or 5 years old, when I saw a small little red car under , my father was outside one door waving with one hand and peeping with the other… when my mother cuddled me in her warm arms and whispered “say hello to our new car..”.. we all were smiling then..
It shared… no.. ‘She’ shared a lot of beautiful memories… 1st time to go to school.. and even 1st day at college… our everyday ride to school with “eza3t el Quran” playing in the morning, and “El bernamg el mosiqi” while going back home!! You know that I loved radios because of that! … it was all about my fascination with the music played in the musical program that I urged my father to buy my 1st pocket radio.. then life went on..

We’ve called ‘her’ many names.. Sometimes “Zoba” according to the old song by Mahmoud Yassin “7elwa ya zoba” .. then changed it to “Batta”.. don’t remember the reason behind that one actually.. and there was “Za2zo2a” as well.. for how small the car looked like between other passing by cars along the way.. but we never cared for how small , beautiful or even modern the car was, as long as it shared our small family’s warmth and laughter’s..
Now…. It would be all gone and buried away except in our hearts..

I remember when we used to go to the beach with our uncles, we used to race who’ll be faster under 80 km/hr.. yeah!.. w enjoyed slow speeds.. it gave us more chance to cheer together!!!
And yeah, the day we had to drive my cousine before her wedding party… it was an extra cool experience peeping all thru the way… and yes I remember now my graduation party drive… now my brother won’t have it .. and his heart is breaking as much as I am, and may be even more..

So sad when you have to give up on what you like and claim its life!! You start by giving up things, then giving up places, people then traits … and at the end you find .. you’ve lost yourself in between..
How dull, stupid, awful and disgusting life is after all.. when I have to give up and forget in order to live.. !!

PS: father, So sorry if I strengthened a feeling towards you… but can’t forgive your new decisions.. can’t forgive you at all…