Morning questions..

As usual, got nothing to do at work, so thought of writing something. Am i going to turn into a boring person who never talks unless feeling sever boredom?

Tell me.. How far do we change?
And who’d really responsible for us changing?
Is it the experiences we pass by daily.. or is it simply life’s way of ruling our lives?!

So long I keep on crying over spilt milk and how beautiful the past was.. is it that beautiful? or my mind colors the past compared to the present.. as a way of tense denial?

Many things I can’t even believe they’re already gone...
And other many many things I can’t believe they’re my present and future for a looong time..

Am I feeling naturally like others? or living in a dreamy world till now?
would I ever wake up to get it.. I’m no longer the little girl playing with the little boys?..

life is not easy.. and looks will never be..
life is struggle.. and a continuous fight.. am I ready? am I really up to?

mm.. I don’t know..

Bursting into life

We'll do it all.. Everything.. On our own
We don't need.. Anything.. Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

"I have hope for a future"..
And probably yes.. if you passed by me now you'd simply think I'm going insane.. but that's it.. I feel hope..

I don't quite know.. How to say.. How I feel
Those three words.. Are said too much.. They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Sitting on a desk in my department's area. Knowing no body except only one whom I loath. Got exactly nothing to do, not even access to the internet.. so trying to search for something to fill in my next 7 hrs or so.

If you just came in you'll see me pretending studying something related to work.. other times listening to dump Spanish audio lessons.. and now fetched a piece of paper and started blogging.
I wish to go walking.. but lazy to.. or in fact.. afraid to walk there all on my own.
Despite all the above.. I feel I want to cry happy tears..

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Today and yesterday I've helped 2 people. its magnificent connecting to people on the human level with nothing in between building up distances. And each time to do something as such, as if I re-discover how beautiful and unique our souls is. The humane magical touch that's understood far beyond spoken words.

Let's waste time.. Chasing cars.. Around our heads
I need your grace.. To remind me.. To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Yesterday I went out!
as simple as that.. thought the meanings hold.. a lot.
A friend of ours broke up with her fiancée.. and so we had to help. Sever changes in our plans.. I even had not to see my Friend Mi.. and instead met few of my college folk..
I only felt... How much I miss college days right now.. How much I miss those souls..
and for no reason I felt lucky.. and felt hope.
After lunch, it was bowling time. Bowling for the first time.. then left.

Today I ran into "Chasing cars" while listening to the radio.. do you think its a coincidence?
searched a while, and luckily enough I found it on my mp3.. and apparently this is the Nth round I'd listen to it over again to the loudest volume I've ever experienced.

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

I sit here now and remember few of the best days in my life.. looking onto a computer screen every once in a while, wishing the clock to move on forward.. end those boring uncounted days...
return home.. meet family and friends.. share a good laugh.. help a one.. smell the early baked bread..
live it to the full.. live what makes a life really be called a life.. Bursting into it.. Filled with a hope for a future :)

All that I am.. All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where.. Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

That's all..

I am defiantly gaining extra weight!.. it’s a fact.
Ever since I finished college and I actually didn’t try to stop myself from eating and lousy sleeping.. everything is opened to compensate my lost years..
Even now at work, day long sitting in front of a computer.. sooo… you can imagine my future this way if I didn’t try to help myself starting from now
I should start exercising soon.

mm.. the last days went may be fine.. sometimes I feel lonely like crazy. I had to eat twice alone in a restaurant. For me may be that’s the worst that can happen. Mm.. I miss my friends badly especially Mi.
well. I don’t wish to talk.. I will go and that’s all.

True..

Dream a little dream of me :)

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "i love you"
Birds singin’ in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me
While I’m alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
I’m longin’ to linger till dawn dear
Just saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars shining up above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "i love you"
Birds singin’ in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Yes, dream a little dream of me

Michael Bubble -- Dream a little dream of me
Originally by Louis Armstrong.

Quick note..

Where had I been that long?... I’ve been everywhere… and so you have to believe..

Finaly, I’d like to announce.. I am accepted in one job, and today would end my 2nd week!.. would you believe that? And today did my 1st two calls?
Would you even believe that I’ve already finished studying CCNA.. got the exam and even passed 987/1000.. ie. I’m CISCO certified.
And guess what! I’ve finished my 1st RAC project… and even got a bonus with invitation for another project :)
And Now I'm back to my french lessons, readings and LIFE ;)

God.. I can’t really describe how proud I am of myself..

Hundreds and hundreds of people work everyday.. and other hundreds and hundreds of them pass the CCNA exam, it isn’t a big deal at all..
but despite all the above, I look at myself in the mirror and smile.. a satisfied smile..


PS: that’s not all… I’ll return again tomorrow isA for details ;)