I hate this place.. and if ther eis a way to delete it.. crack it down.. do whatever that won’t make me feel this feeling, I’ll go for it

L2 bgd…. Asba7 makan ka2eeeb.. wana ka2eba.. w mesh 3ayza elli 3ayzah
U know when u r drunk and you go and knock which ever door infront of you, un awar what it might have behind!!
I did that!!
As if I was in that need to talk
May itbe a strange something to do… may be.. I do not know

So whatever… that place makes me feel suffocating f3lan… w elli mesh 3ayza shof wesho tani

From now one.. its one time and for good…. Not nothing to do with bluelue ever again

I might use another nick and start some where another…

But definite word………..
Good bye my worst night mare ever…

Neyahahaha the project screw our lives.. and is not done yet :

Some one gets me out of this living night mare…

...

Mins ago I was posting one long entry about how sad I am now. Sad?
Yes..
It was like I am on the edge of breaking again..
Yeah.. so frustrating when you feel your feeling for a certain person became a burden on you.. especially when you hate and can’t get over..
When you talk, and words hurt
When your tears stand like stones in your eyes
You live mins in dreams.. then the rest of the day in the same boring ritual claiming its your best
While it’s the worst nightmare you’ve ever learnt..

Yeah.. every day I know defiantly “life sucks”.. when you feel you are in the wrong place.. wrong time and wrong people
You wish to have some feather and collect your wing.. fly away some where .. or may be leave yourself with the wind till you find a nest somewhere and call home.. or you are finally dead..

Had you ever wished so hard to leave life?

Its not a matter of frustration as much as a wisdom I might have learnt the hard way out…
It such a pain hating someone you should appreciate while in fact, you can’t have anything but black feelings to him…

Wish I’d have the courage once and tell him in the face how hard I truly do….
And watch him dwelling in it..
May be then –no matter how hard it might sound- may be then, he’d understand the ages of dark visions built in the minds and hearts guarded by his fake yellow smile..

This week’s lesson

Had I ever mentioned my strong hatred for demanding people?
If not, then I am admitting it right now
I DO HATE THEM..
Hate it when someone, highly regarded as a grown up start nagging about something and turning into a headache !!
I mean, yeah, I hate true ya3ni such faces keda…
Its 1st time I shut up.. or may be reply in a nice way.. 2nd time I really keep shut up.. 3rd time I might use some sarcasm or cynical language.. 4th time I burst and even my inner guilt would never stop me from the cannon that would start to FIRE

You want something from the so called being "ME". Then say it ONCE. If twice then make sure I’ve asked you to do so, not from you HEAD. Ok.. then leave me alone after lying in some corner.. whatever.. Neglect me bgd.. and I will come to you.. I’ll just come..
But chasing me with your stupid questions, means I’ll lose my temper and won’t care much for such a pain called Mr./miss nag.

How stubborn, arrogant and hard head/heart I am.
YES.. then WHAT ?!

Guess what! I got 40 :|

Another email quizof the day.. I believe I've posted before. not quite sure. But anyways, solve it yourself, and feed me in with your results as usual ;)



1. When do you feel your best?!
a) In the morning
b) during the afternoon & and early evening
c) Late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people, you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side.
b) your legs crossed.
c) your legs stretched out or straight.
d) One leg curled under you.

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) a big, appreciative laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering, you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you.
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know.
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed.

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted, do you...
a) welcome the break.
b) feel extremely irritated.
c) vary between these two extremes.

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie...
a) stretched out on your back.
b) stretched out face down on your stomach.
c) on your side, slightly curled.
d) with your head on one arm.
e) with your head under the covers.

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:

1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points...
& see you results..
If you got..

OVER 60 POINTS:
Others see you as someone they should "handle with care".. You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant.. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you...

51 TO 60 POINTS:
Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones.. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate..

41 TO 50 POINTS:
Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head..They also see you as kind-hearted, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out, someone who'll always give them a hand..

31 TO 40 POINTS:
Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken..

21 TO 30 POINTS:
Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature...

UNDER 21 POINTS:
People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring.But Only those who know you well know that you aren't...

My confession

The fact is, I can’t get along with someone for long. Its one lf my life’s tragedies begad. Hate to have someone, anyone near. Hate to know that someone, anyone will b sticking to me for long. And could my friendship to some is going ok for long, is that there were and still hell of limits and distances separating us. We are connected to one thing, only a thing, and the rest are left for individual interests. GOSH!
And the harsh part is that, I always feel guilt that I’m hurting someone, anyone always. Those who I meet with this stupid look and hard words. Just can’t help it begad.. can’t help it at all.

Leave me alone !

The one thing people do not seem to understand about me, is that when I am that down .. if I didn’t come to you –in person- and knock… then do not risk opening the door…
Else, do not get offended from my reflex…

Its when I need any of the 2 around so urgent, I find none..
And both in the same city..

I wonder why I got this strong ESP with that someone especially. I just love being around together.. may be doing nothing.. talking about all the none sense in the world.. listening to some crap.. but just being around for sometimes.. I feel secured.. I feel as if the whole world is pure nothing.. really the whole world is nothing

Yet I always have to wake up on the bitter reality,, the ruthless minds of the living beings and the stupid ignorance by who are we.. and looking at.. how irrelevant we look like..
GOSh.. I hate that.. and I hate that true..

I hate that f3lan.. and I wish to travel there right now and be with my friend (S) .. both of them.. I love them as a package.. thought they do not know each other that much…

Extra low..

And so I am definite more than ever, I’m having dual feelings!!

Ok, like never before, I want to leave this college.. I’m feeling extra bored.. extra fed up to the extend that my final practical exam in a day to come, and I can’t open a single paper… I’ve piled everything to tomorrow.. which means I won’t finish.. but I just can’t study anymore.. that is out of my hands.. and.. GOSH! I hate that place and I hate the people there as well

However, at the same time, I can’t think I might leave it!!! My GOSH!

Zodiac

In one of the replies to Ahmed’s recent topic, Epitaph wrote those words:


“Just today I figured out why you have this deep insight into human nature and...like to investigate personalities...as this topic of Ring tones!You are a Capricorn! :))))))Hahahaha...irrelevant point. but believe me this gives a great deal of background of the personality of one person!let's say a Capricornia does not show his true feelings. May appear indifferent, calm and so cool!...though deep inside he does care and carefully listen and remember and record this!”


My O My!
Guess who is Capricorn : !!!!!!!

Today

-- On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red
roses?
-- Will he offer me his mouth?
-- Yes

So it’s been this day for everything. YUP! . you know, somehow no matter how life went on rushing, or insanely fast or even slow. You still keep on searching for this tiny corner you’d find yourself sitting waiting for you to come on by and start to move on together again. Sometimes, a bar of choco would do, sometimes listening to your favorite CD or holding a book or talking to a friend or even gossiping about someone you like. Its just, as I always say, forget about the big things and focus on the small ones, these ones what really count.

-- Will he offer me his teeth?
-- Yes

Today morning was strange. Got to wake up really early for a college meeting to have a project brain storming. And so our meeting was around 9 then postponed to 10, while in fact I got out of my home reaching the place at 10. :D was about 1 hour behind. Anyways, luckily we found the sub-lecturer around to explain a little bit of what we’d to be doing, and un-expectedly we had some funny stuff going on from here and there. When it was our time to return back. Suddenly we thought of hanging out, and YES we did!

-- Will he offer me his Jews?
-- yes

I went with Bavalova and B. to some restaurant down town, where we ate in the street and even drunk some soft drinks near by a kiosk where we sat on the pavement in the middle of the road under the extremely burning sun, but it was hell fun. Fun to the extend we weren’t imagining. But somehow, sometimes you always need something, I won’t say wild, but may I say un-usual to your life. Something you don’t always do every now or then not for t he sake of anything but.. to steel some moments of enjoyment in your life..

-- will he offer me his Hunger?
-- yes

anyways, as I returned home I was like dead tired, and couldn’t help sleeping when,, when I got this phone call of my dear G. She asked to go out walking, when I said “what the hell, OK”
Some more minutes later we were down walking :D .. was fun still. I mean, we aren’t that very close friends to say, but we got some things in common after all. Even some friends. Actually –more than some- friends. We’ve been gossiping all day may be. Walking around 3 hours or so non-stop, and promised to meet again sooooon, but next time for the pooool.. lets just enjoy our time more and more *evil laugh*

-- Again, will he offer me his hunger?
-- YES
-- And will he starve
without me?
-- YES

Retuned back home, very late in fact, and tired as never before to discover I can’t even post this little something since no DSL around. Soo, I’ve watched TV. To my amazement there was this Arabic movie I’ve been told about a lot before but never saw it for real “el selm wl t3ban”. Can’t argue that is a nice *nice* movie, not that exceptionally beautiful something, or may be its been me who do not feel amazed with things quite easily as before. And could be me, who is not fond of romance as before. I mean, I was talking with someone some time ago and reached the conclusion that life is not always the life we think, and it will still be kept as a mystery, one day up and next down. And what makes it quite unique, is the one thing that made you up today might be the reason to make you down tomorrow.. I don’t know.. but like, like you want to eat something salty at a time so badly, but what after you eat it??… nothing after all
And that what G. confirmed to me today as well when she said a phrase, I do not believe I’d forget “love is an over rated feeling” .. and yeah, why not take this theory in practice??

Looks I’m going hallucinating, its been a tiring day, completely adorable, beautiful and energetic… its just our lives do not always allow us this self space.. but sooner or later.. sooner or later we’d feel the peace..

-- And does he love me?
-- Yes
-- Yes

------------------------------------------------------------------
Quotes from the song “You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth” – Meatloaf
And wonder why I ever did…

Big YaaaaY :) 2006

the "Testing" exam effects :D

Come on everybody clap your hands

Now you're looking good

I'm gonna sing my song and you won't take long

We gotta do the TEST and it goes like this

Come on let's TEST again like we did last summer

Yea, let's TEST again like we did last year

Do you remember when things were really hummin'

Yea, let's TEST again, TESTin' time is here

Yeah round 'n around 'n up 'n down we go again

Oh baby make me know you love me so then

Come on let's TEST again like we did last summer

Yea, let's TEST again, TESTin' time is here

Download "lets test again"

I've got mail..

I found this mail in my inbox today, and gota tell you.. as a girl, I was impressed someway or another.. YEAH! Its almost true (thought some stuff, I'm not that sure about)… so here it is to share..



1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she'scrying in her heart.

2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's bestto give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with anapology.

3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (whichis why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after therelationship's over.)

4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minuteof the day, even though she flirts with other guys.

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, shewill melt.

6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how toreact to them.

7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl wouldstart thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as afriend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?

8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.

9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave heralone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawingsand writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains whymost girls like writing journals).

11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.

12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl mayact look uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone isback on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately starttelephoning her friends to spread the news.

14. A smile means a lot to a girl.

15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let herget to know you.

16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has tostudy, leave.

17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.

18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.

19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girlthat she is beautiful.

20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why shenever noticed him before.

21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romancestories.

22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who isstanding next to her crush before actually looking at herself.

23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy sheloves now stays in her heart.

24. Girls love having fun!

25. A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.

26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling andgoing through.

27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get closeto their 'prettier' friend.

28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in thatorder.

29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALLgirls want a guy who will love and care for them.

30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.

31. Girls always hope that they can always remain as friend withtheir ex. But never know how !

He was a great man, and deserved all the best through his short days in the world..
May ALLAh reward him in his son and faithful wife after his life..

اللهم ادخله فسيح جناتك

To his soul, I pray to rest..
Amen

PS: please, any passer by to pray for him as well, and read el fate7a.