Tuesday, March 28, 2006

*Blue* is back ;)


I missed college’s bus today. The sub-lecturer kept on talking and talking un-aware that the time was up! Not only this, but also he gave us 2 extra reports to write in “assembly language” !! ..*whatever.. I do not care that much any more..*
But then I had to take a public bus ; wasn’t that encouraging journey until I got off. You know, I usually take another transport to my house.. and sometimes I walk. So today, I was in the mood for the hard way .. walking back home..

Somehow I needed to walk.. the last time was probably the 1st of February after the book fair 2nd tour with MiCaps :) ..
And you know what, I felt I needed to breath some fresh air *had I said that yesterday it was raining heavily, though winter should have ended here.. :S *
Anyways, I hold my books at one hand and the poster at the other *with all the lovely signatures of the best crew, best friends, best people and best spirit one might ever live*, took a deep breath, focused at the front road and started the walk..

I do hate big bags, though its more practical than holding books in the hand… but still holding books better than walking empty hands with wonders what to do with my hands and where to put them all way long ! .. funny, huh?!
But I was thinking, the passed days life looked a real mess… when I look back now I think I was emotionally distressed and could be oppressed. Well.. may be because I had to pile things up for long, so it was time for me to get it all out.. and though I do not see a real benefit from all what happened except that .. well.. except that I knew I am not dead. Strange?! But yeah.. I still feel, I still sense, I still get hurt.. beside I still love, forget and forgive :)

But the real big thing I learnt from the previous experience is that, if I used my mind in addition to my intuition I will act brilliant, and have some excellent moves as I did. The chess board was empty, and though the little useless plans I had, but I felt proud of my self after.. and knew that some way or another I am going to make my life, only if I continued using my brain in the right form.

Ah! I had that vision returning back to me through my walk, and this time was stronger, deeper, more beautiful .. in fact, no matter how I described.. was way too good to be true..
the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” how so wisely -once- said..
now I believe I can make it *Though all my prayers goes for one form of my wish. I hope to be as beautiful as I saw it.. YA ALLAH ! YOU are so beautiful and much more beautiful than one can ever think*
Now I sincerely believe.. I am a believer.. and I do.. I do .. I do..

As I am returning to my peaceful shinning corner again, I was asked the same request twice in 2 different forms by 2 different people: to let *Blue* the one to dominate the real me.. mm.. I thought about that more than once.. true I have more than 2 personalities inside.. and can’t hide *Blue* is nearer to my heart though the hard dignified *Me* is the one always showing..
Yet why not give it a try starting from today.. who knows what might happen..
Yeah, who knows.. who knows :)



PS: I tried to use less the “I” pronoun, but just happens, can’t get it away… that’s mainly why it’s called a personal space after all :)
Cheers and God bless..

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