A message to YOU

The last couple of days, I discovered few of the strangest people follow this tiny corner of mine. Each one I knew individually represents one beautiful surprise that makes my day brighter and other days to come.
Therefore before its too late, as I always like to spend my life, I’d love to thank each and every one of you who waste few of his/her minutes of the day as you are taking your cup of coffee, talking to someone at work or watching tv… to follow, comment, check on me frequently.. or simply read then leave in peace..

Know that YOU, and YOU alone, the one who make my virtual life seems much prettier..

Love you begad :)

Salamati, Blue

Show time: La Finestra di Fronte

I saw the movie yesterday in a hurry. There was a rush of phone calls, due few phone calls with some people keda, in addition to my lack of concentration due my latest in the graduation project issue and last but not least few phone calls with my mother’s friend.

Whatever the reasons are, I can tell you explicitly “La Finestra di Fronte” is a worth watch movie!
Yuppsi..
Look, the story might be over used. Fate playing with our lives, and us torn between choices, dreams, commitment and sacrifice.
At a time I felt the old man is “fate” or “destiny” talking to the protagonist (Giovanna) and her neighbor (Lorenzo). And it might be true. You know, you might be wandering in a street some where then you discover your life turned upside down after. Or you might meet someone sometime and discover later, this coincidence was meant for a life time. There you know after fate was in that place or that person.
And so, I loved it for that spinning thought.. “where fate lies?!”

Forget about the average ending, however, you WILL find yourself diving into the movie scenes. The emotional perspective in the movie is very rich. The director is more than fantastic! The cast awesome especially the old man (Simone) he is excellent. I felt passion with his every word and twist.

Mm, I was never a movie critique.. so I don’t have much to say but “I loved the movie, especially the background music was fabulous”..


Before I go, I wish to thank Film69, if it weren’t for his blog I won’t have known such a movie.
And last but not least, you might read this review I passed by chance… and guess I 2nd it all..

Cheers and good luck

UPDATES:
The theme song: Gocce di Memoria
The theme OST: L'Amore perduto - Il pensiero de Te
Another review: Facing windows

Bits and pieces

1. Had I ever mentioned my project is pure JINX! O, yes it is!
Two and a half month passed and STILL I can’t know for certain where am I.. so pissed till the limits ba2a…
Hate college, hate the every thing..

2. Finished my exams today. Supposedly I did. Though I know “it never rains, it pours” would be my motto in a matter of days only (ie: I mean reports and stuff)

3. My brother’s graduation party was a blast. Very beautiful and should be mentioned somewhere, but got no time.. tweak tweak…

4. Finished watching the Italian movie “facing windows”… and YES! Charming as I thought…..

5. My intuition can’t fail me now! Deep down I know, today’s phones weren’t for God’s sake keda..

:S

Again same old story.. when I feel hatred for someone I used to like.. bl a7ra, its not hatred, but feeling of disgust.. or may be.. nop.. not disgust.. feeling that suddenly wide towns and villages built between us and I don’t wish to cross it anymore!
I know how to react to this, don’t try to nag me. Don’t try to impose your picture in my life, I will even hate you more. Just leave me to calm down, until I am whole again and will return back. I will return back with a smile, a joke, an email.. an sms.. or a simple Hello..

Now I have someone in that phase with me, and the other someone I am in that phase with her.
Both ways, I will hang the issue as a matter of time. I do not want to talk about it.
Though I know, now, I hate both of them, despite both are my best and closest friends..

After a day like today..

May be all I need, a hot cup of anything, a nice book and Sort Yussif (my favorite) read by El Menshawy playing at the background..
Then I might go sleep or die.. it doesn’t really make a difference…

Not a "thank U" messege...

At 1st I wasn't much encouraged to do it. Yet after reading the reactions I'd ask anyone who applied and felt offended by itoot because they didnt even reply with a single line, then Place this on your blogs..

Yuppie, Got it yesterday...

Summary: The Casio Exilim EX-Z120 is a compact, metal bodied digital camera that provides very good 7 megapixel images. The camera provides a good 2" screen, excellent battery life, a good video mode, and an average macro mode. The camera provides a mode for every type of digital camera user, from the very beginner, to the advanced expert and the digital camera is very easy to use in all modes. The camera doesn't appear to cut back on features, yet still manages to provide excellent value for money as one of the cheapest 7 megapixel, 3x optical zoom digital cameras available. The Casio Exilim EX-Z120 is definitely recommended!

A journey..

You only have to buy one gum pack to find your 5L.E. .. puff… all gone!

I was passing by the newspaper old man on the college’s corner today, when I found a new volume for Fouad Hadad, “YAY! Now I have 4 parts… what a treasure”, so I thought. There was another book for Bahaa Taher, yet didn’t have enough money to buy el 7a2e2a. So asked the man to leave me a copy till Saturday. I’d dye to buy it, like how I always do..
I am weak when it comes to books and stuff as such. My mother always fights with me because never had the saving money luxury. It’s always and always my money is “wasted” –so how she thinks- on nothing –that’s books, from her point of view as well-! Yet, if I bought make up for example - which I disgust- she’d never talk!
Again the same old fashionable look for a female in our society. Her looks not her mind.. Her body not her soul…
>> “sheddy 7elk..” a voice was talking to me, so turned around to see its B. greeting..
>> “eeh! 3andk analoge bardo?!”
> “ah, but what I am holding is not” and showed him the Fouad Hadad’s book, so he nodded..
>> “yes, I know you are that…..” and I didn’t concentrate in whatever he was telling after wards. I hate it when someone comes around to disturb when you finally feel Happy, “I connected with myself!”
Gosh, this world won’t leave you alone.
Disconnected..

The exam wasn’t pretty, however good enough not to feel that disappointed. This year I am not into studying at all. I heard it a lot, when you enter your last year you lose your eagerness for learning.. and YES I lost it awi. Can’t study at all, can’t even talk about studying. My biggest dream is to graduate and work. I wish to work today before tomorrow so I can buy all the books without someone interfering “you waste your money on nonsense!” neyahahahaaaa
By God’s sake, what’s the hell is that!

There I sat beside some guy keda on my way back home. Looks a middle age person, with a childish face, and childish attitude as well. He opened his mobile and started listening to all the stupid ness of rap and hip hop music! I loath it.. for quite a good time wished to tell him “PLEASE put your ear phone!” .. again similar disturbance.
Disconnected.. again..

Wasn’t a coward before, yet didn’t find a will inside to enter any sort of discussion with anyone. I wanted to keep looking out of the window and that’s it. Never to think of anything else. Till the moment I reached my peak, and was about to yell at his face.. However, he actually switched it off! Strange isn’t it..?!

Did I say I didn’t wish to think?
Yes, I did
I saw a girl wearing a very strange 3abaya. Myself, never wore a 3abaya before, and guess won’t. Not because I am not a strong Muslim, yet.. I don’t like the perspective itself! I don’t know.. I don’t feel liking it as much as I don’t like boys with long beards and short trousers! By God’s sake, if you’d to wear something that you think is not in your culture then at least behave to it! I don’t know begad… can’t understand this mentality as well.. all the extremist mentalities (whether rightists or leftists) are still so vague to me. May be one day I would get to know someone behaving this way to get it.

When that all dragged me into another something I noticed while the bus was moving. Lets say.. hmm.. Almost 15% only of the cars moving around us didn’t have religious symbols…

In our car, there is The Holy Quran placed, however in a locked drawer. Never ever showed to the public. I can hardly remember a day my father walked with a seb7a. Nor did I!
Yes, I remember once I had this key chain as a Ka3baa, I used to use for quite sometime, not because it’s a religious figure yet because my mother brought it to me when she went to a pilgrimage, and so I love to keep anything from her with me always. Now I keep it in my memories box to preserve it longer. My new key chain is simply a colorful hand :) I could have bought it “Besm ALLAH” or something as such.. yet never thought of it this way.. Mm,, ok,, my necklace even is not anything Islamic.. Its just a heart and a key! (I might talk about it later on)..

The above thoughts even dragged me further to another thought. My Christian father friends, almost 90% of them are called “Atef”.. “Nagi”.. “Anwar”… etc. however the newer generation (that is their kids) are almost 80% called “Micheal”.. “Bishoy”.. “John”.. etc. I don’t know about Islamic names.. I believe “Mohamed” and “ahmed” I guess it was there life long.. or what you think? Didn't follow el 7a2e2a..
I am not to prove a theory, or to state a fact. Just thinking… ah.. my mind never rests.. always thinks keda..
May be its time to open up..

Now I am reading a new book about the mamaleek history in Egypt. It might be the strangest of all to talk about. And guess I will talk about it later on “lasto adri” Arabic blog, because guess it deserves..


OK! The exams week is over, partially over in fact.. still got one final exam on Monday, however won’t worry my mind that much now. I’ll play today, at night will go out with family isA (tell you about it later as well), and tomorrow will be the day! My brother’s graduation party..

Yalla, see you around people..
And welcome Void, my old friend..
Tada, Blue..

F.a.b.u.l.o.u.s !!

She is F.a.b.u.l.o.u.s !! Just finished listening the song “Hob eh” on “Eza3t el a3’any” where Om Klathom repeated the 2nd part 3 times… you know those lines:
بعت قلبى.. بعت حبى
بعتنى وفاكرنى ليه
أستنى قربك ليه؟
Ya ALLAH! She’s miraculous.. each time she starts those lines, I quite whatever at hand and listen carefully! Something indescribable fills me in begad!
Breath taking keda..

Earlier today, I listened to “Lessa fakr” on the “Om kalthoum” station at 5:00, and even earlier “a2olak eh 3n el sho2 ya 7abiby” on “eza3t el a3’any” as well at the 3:00 daily slot…. Especially the 2nd part of this song as well, made my day!

This lady is unbelievable! I can forget my everything just by listening to her singing such hits as the 2nd half of “Hob eh”!!.. she got me listening to it now again on my PC as I type those letters..
I mean, I did forget my everything mints ago and wished to have it night and day, life long..


Tell you what, remind me always when I am that down to listen to her.. just tell me 2nd part “hob eh”… believe it or not, it works for me like magic!!

Time after time..

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow ..
Who knows what might happen..
Who knows whom I’d meet
Who knows what to think of..
or where to be ?!
Who knows but HE..
Not even you, nor me..

Though tomorrow,
"My Tomorrow" is ONLY a one day away!



PS: Me, yeah, not feeling very good..

This week's oath

And so I took the oath, I wont email the group till the end of the week..
And starting from now till Thursday no posting..
(except may be one or 2 max for English)
Let me teach myself a hard lesson, and study ba2a……

Different tunes, same melody..

LoL at this life..!
That song got some memories. Have heard it long ago in one trip keda after a friend asked to. Now, I no longer see this friend and didn’t remember the song for a very long time, until yesterday!
I was wondering in my tangle of musical pieces on my PC, I usually do not know what is there. I just click and download without knowing exactly whats there. And sometimes I forget the CD for hell of time, and discover it by a chance keda, or even forget all about it, and re-download it another time unaware it exists aslan :D

SO, was listening to “Buddha Bar” collection, when I heard this version of “Comme toi”.. searced abit more to find another one called “Comme toi” on my PC by Tina Arina.. while the one my friend told me about is “Calling you” by Grace Deep…
And the three of them are sung in Arabic, English and French..

I do not know which one is better for you.. however, I reckon the 3 of them worth listening..
Enjoy and tell me what you think ;)


Ps: just did some search keda, and found yet another “male” version for "comme toi" by “Jean Jacques Goldman”

And feeling horrible..

The whole last things i said about the project is cancelled..
Things went even worst today more than anyother time!

Recording now..

Seconds ago I was watching ”Good will hunting”. A good movie I bet, thought haven’t finished watching.
Just discovered, the best thing that hunts me in any movie, the dialogues.. the on going conversation between people. Words.. simply words can make my day..
Second comes the OST and background music..

Anyways, since I am not in the focusing kind of mood, so I switched the TV for mother to watch whatever program she want.. most probably one of her religious faves. I just, can’t take any of these in… and I wonder why..

Back to addiction..

I am “internet addict”.. and here is what this test tells about me!

Your score: 87
Your Internet usage is causing significant problems in your life. You should evaluate the impact of the Internet on your life and address the problems directly caused by your Internet usage.

I still remember what I did yesterday

OK! Never thought prayers can be replied that fast. But dearly deeply truly El 7amd lelah “Thank YOU ALLAH for everything”!
If I didn’t have taken my decision, I would have been lost forever between the projects’ leftover.. We ALL would have been so! I still Can't belive how I changed the whole plans in just a second, and for no proper reason BUT my heart told me I should act firmly..

In this hectic, digi life.. there is no place for emotions, relationships or sympathy. Just look for your favor, thats the rule from 1 to 10.. UNLESS, its someone you regard as a part of your soul or self..

Could you believe the irony! Could you believe, that the whole punch of people (I mean even the ones I so-called betrayed yesterday) all of them are thanking me! I truly saved their future projects….

Now, I have nothing to say… Thank YOU ALLAH, and THANK YOU begad “My intuition” ;) ..

How could you feel relieved with injustice?

you can’t believe it, yet that’s how I felt today. I had to be mean and un-fair,
-- a matter of revenge?!
-- got not the simplest idea..

Well, my colleges started the “project” hassle, sometimes they say we’ll be with you, other times, they are not. I felt horrible! Hate to feel someone is swinging me right and left! NO! I have my own identity, and deep self respect. So under the dim of the light, I went and added me name to another project, which hopefully will be accepted in “yaaa rab, yaa rab.. I deeply wish for it this time”..
When they knew, they loved to act “the victim’s scene”… which made me even worst!
You know you are not victims at all, so stop this lousy play! You ain’t good for the rule..

Hmm, I don’t know, something inside me tells me I was real cruel and mean! However, I am not giving me excuses, but that is ME! If you treat me bad one day, I revenge very quickly and much much more than the hurt you caused.

I don’t know how I would react tomorrow when I see their faces! Something begad inside me makes me feel, I shouldn’t give a damn care. And ya, I am truly not giving a damn care, though they’ve been friends for sometimes. But once you betrayed, just forget it.. I won’t cry over someone never cried over me!

yet still as a matter of curtsy, they should be something to be said or done, I do not know exactly what. Hmm, they were friends and I pity demolishing their dreams this way. I don’t know, I really really don’t know what to do.

Today's thought..

I thought of decreasing my answering paragraphs into lines.
So I wrote a line then enter, I wrote a line then enter, and wrote a line then enter.. and on we go all night..

Before yesterday's universal goodnight..

Yesterday, before I went to sleep something hidden urged me to read my favorite short story again! Yeah something stupid I do not know, because my favorite story is not a good or a marvelous one. It’s nothing at all. You might have thought of it before, but never believed it existed. But no, the writer wrote in the 1st page, it is a true story he knew so close. And I kept it in my drawer for long. Always wished to live it once, though I know it’s impossible. It is the impossible itself. It’s a hopeless case. Mere torture in our living days. A misery by the word if it ever happened now. But yet I know it happens, and it will always happen as long as the human inside us is living still!

So hard to give away the core of your spirit.. Yes! But We are all humans at the end. We are humans and it’s a matter of soul’s talk that would define how to continue the way.. a spirit to spirit intimate relation ship.. and that’s what made it my best….

Hmm, it was something stupid to mention. But, I was thinking of it yesterday so strong, that I searched for the book here and there.. till I got it,,,, and kept reading the story over and over again!

Can’t hide people, but can’t help me underline few words there! I never ever noticed before.. as if the writer is talking to me. And YES only me in the universe, though he’s telling the story of someone else..

I never told one about the story and would never will, I wished it to happen but was afraid it would, and afraid someone would know about me thinking this way….
But do u think someday, would I ever choose this torture to live?!
I wish now to parish before the choice time is to come…

Need to get it -all- out..

When I recall all today's incidents.. starting by M's over reaction towards posting her latest.. it makes me believe even more..
"Sometimes, I do not know: what is bad and what is worse.."

Why and why..?!

Why do I understand some people that much?
Why do I know what they are thinking of and what they are about to do?!
I am not a wizard, I am not a foreteller and it’s not a fairy tale…
I wish it would be illusion…
Its hard to be taken by surprise for someone’s reaction..
But much harder to have guessed it true, before hand, Especially IF these people are the ONES you want to get down to and discover at the now!!!

Your Thought and Mine

By Gibran

Your thought is a tree rooted deep in the soil of tradition and whose branches grow in the power of continuity. My thought is a cloud moving in the space. It turns into drops which, as they fall, form a brook that sings its way into the sea. Then it rises as vapour into the sky. Your thought is a fortress that neither gale nor the lightning can shake. My thought is a tender leaf that sways in every direction and finds pleasure in its swaying. Your thought is an ancient dogma that cannot change you nor can you change it. My thought is new, and it tests me and I test it morn and eve.

You have your thought and I have mine.

Your thought allows you to believe in the unequal contest of the strong against the weak, and in the tricking of the simple by the subtle ones. My thought creates in me the desire to till the earth with my hoe, and harvest the crops with my sickle, and build my home with stones and mortar, and weave my raiment with woollen and linen threads. Your thought urges you to marry wealth and notability. Mine commends self-reliance. Your thought advocates fame and show. Mine counsels me and implores me to cast aside notoriety and treat it like a grain of sand cast upon the shore of eternity. Your thought instils in your heart arrogance and superiority. Mine plants within me love for peace and the desire for independence. Your thought begets dreams of palaces with furniture of sandalwood studded with jewels, and beds made of twisted silk threads. My thought speaks softly in my ears, “Be clean in body and spirit even if you have nowhere to lay your head.” Your thought makes you aspire to titles and offices. Mine exhorts me to humble service.

You have your thought and I have mine.

Your thought is social science, a religious and political dictionary. Mine is simple axiom. Your thought speaks of the beautiful woman, the ugly, the virtuous, the prostitute, the intelligent, and the stupid. Mine sees in every woman a mother, a sister, or a daughter of every man. The subjects of your thought are thieves, criminals, and assassins. Mine declares that thieves are the creatures of monopoly, criminals are the offspring of tyrants, and assassins are akin to the slain. Your thought describes laws, courts, judges, punishments. Mine explains that when man makes a law, he either violates it or obeys it. If there is a basic law, we are all one before it. He who disdains the mean is himself mean. He who vaunts his scorn of the sinful vaunts his disdain of all humanity. Your thought concerns the skilled, the artist, the intellectual, the philosopher, the priest. Mine speaks of the loving and the affectionate, the sincere, the honest, the forthright, the kindly, and the martyr. Your thought advocates Judaism, Brahmanism, Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam. In my thought there is only one universal religion, whose varied paths are but the fingers of the loving hand of the Supreme Being. In your thought there are the rich, the poor, and the beggared. My thought holds that there are no riches but life; that we are all beggars, and no benefactor exists save life herself.

You have your thought and I have mine.

According to your thought, the greatness of nations lies in their politics, their parties, their conferences, their alliances and treaties. But mine proclaims that the importance of nations lies in work – work in the field, work in the vineyards, work with the loom, work in the tannery, work in the quarry, work in the timberyard, work in the office and in the press. Your thought holds that the glory of the nations is in their heroes. It sings the praises of Rameses, Alexander, Caesar, Hannibal, and Napoleon. But mine claims that the real heroes are Confucius, Lao-Tse, Socrates, Plato, Abi Taleb, El Gazali, Jalal Ed-din-el Roumy, Copernicus, and Pasteur. Your thought sees power in armies, cannons, battleships, submarines, aeroplanes, and poison gas. But mine asserts that power lies in reason, resolution, and truth. No matter how long the tyrant endures, he will be the loser at the end. Your thought differentiates between pragmatist and idealist, between the part and the whole, between the mystic and materialist. Mine realizes that life is one and its weights, measures and tables do not coincide with your weights, measures and tables. He whom you suppose an idealist may be a practical man.

You have your thought and I have mine.

Your thought is interested in ruins and museums, mummies and petrified objects. But mine hovers in the ever-renewed haze and clouds. Your thought is enthroned on skulls. Since you take pride in it, you glorify it too. My thought wanders in the obscure and distant valleys. Your thought trumpets while you dance. Mine prefers the anguish of death to your music and dancing. Your thought is the thought of gossip and false pleasure. Mine is the thought of him who is lost in his own country, of the alien in his own nation, of the solitary among his kinfolk and friends.

You have your thought and I have mine.

Kate & Leopold

Just finished the movie "Kate & Leopold" on MBC2.. and tell U, Loved the conversations to the max. (btw: its yet another, a must 2nd watch on my list for convo.s NOT the plot )
here are some of my favorite quotes from the part i managed to watch..


Kate: I'm not very good with men.
Leopold: Perhaps you haven't found the right one.
Kate: Maybe. Or, uh... maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying magazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watching movies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney.

******

Stuart: It is no more crazy than a dog finding a rainbow. Dogs are colourblind, Gretchen. They don't see colour. Just like we don't see time. We can feel it, we can feel it passing, but we can't see it. It's just like a blur. It's like we're riding in a supersonic train and the world is just blowing by, but imagine if we could stop that train, eh, Gretchen? Imagine if we could stop that train, get out, look around, and see time for what it really is? A universe, a world, a thing as unimaginable as colour to a dog, and as real, as tangible as that chair you're sitting in. Now if we could see it like that, really look at it, then maybe we could see the flaws as well as the form. And that's it; it's that simple. That's all I discovered. I'm just a... a guy who saw a crack in a chair that no one else could see. I'm that dog who saw a rainbow, only none of the other dogs believed me.
Gretchen: I believe you.

*******

Kate: And... it's a great thing to get what you want. It's a really good thing unless what you thought you wanted wasn't really what you wanted... because what you really wanted you couldn't imagine or you didn't think it was possible but what if someone came along who knew exactly what you wanted without asking they just knew... like they could hear your heart beating or listen to your thoughts and what if they were sure of themselves and they didn't have to take a poll and they loved you... but you hesitated and I... uh... I have to go... I'm sorry but... I have to go!

When words end..

Just returned back from my uncle’s house, and now I am in the mood for crying!
I was actually there. Its painful entering the same house twice in a week, one day “she” was there, the next, “she”’s here no more.

Why did I ever get near to her the last couple of times?!

May God bless her soul… I just can’t stand losing dear people anymore..
Its very painful.. it truly hurts..

A must see

I've been sent this video, and wish all to see.. :)


Everyone Must See This! - video powered by Metacafe

No time, No time.. NO TIME!

I have no time, no time at all. Things are rushing in a strange direction.
My ISP cut the connection for a couple of days.. then, we had to sit in college till 7 for 2 days back to back (ALLAH y7ra3 el mashro3 w seneno)….
Tomorrow I should be traveling to my relatives for the death of my uncle’s wife (how much I hate that going.. I loved her, YES, and she’s breaking my heart… but can’t go on to people to act some stupid memorized scenario, I tried to explain that to father,, but God bless him, he yelled at me!)
On Thursday I should b searching my new dress for my best friend’s engagement (that should be having another post on its own, for I am really provoked by her last action).. and on Friday itself the engagement! And between all that, I have to study for the midterms are one week away, do the needed reports AND the stupid project!
I am not stupid wallahi, bas can’t role a fast pace life like this one!

Now tell me please, when how and where can I find space for myself?

Ne me quite pas

I can't stop that song form my play list.. And once I saw this video..
I can't but raise my hat and shut up..

I JUST LOVE HIM SINGING IT

PS: you can always listen to "Jaques Brel" singing it on my side bar...

Ne me quitte pas
Ne me quitte pas
Il faut oublier
Tout peut s'oublier
Qui s'enfuit déjà
Oublier le temps
Des malentendus
Et le temps perdu
A savoir comment
Oublier ces heures
Qui tuaient parfois
A coups de pourquoi
Le coeur du bonheur

Moi je t'offrirai
Des perles de pluie
Venues de pays
Où il ne pleut pas
Je creuserai la terre
Jusqu'après ma mort
Pour couvrir ton corps
D'or et de lumière
Je ferai un domaine
Où l'amour sera roi
Où l'amour sera loi
Où tu seras reine

Ne me quitte pas
Je t'inventerai
Des mots insensés
Que tu comprendras
Je te parlerai
De ces amants-là
Qui ont vue deux fois
Leurs coeurs s'embraser
Je te raconterai
L'histoire de ce roi
Mort de n'avoir pas
Pu te rencontrer

On a vu souvent
Rejaillir le feu
De l'ancien volcan
Qu'on croyait trop vieux
Il est paraît-il
Des terres brûlées
Donnant plus de blé
Qu'un meilleur avril
Et quand vient le soir
Pour qu'un ciel flamboie
Le rouge et le noir
Ne s'épousent-ils pas

Ne me quitte pas
Je ne vais plus pleurer
Je ne vais plus parler
Je me cacherai là
A te regarder
Danser et sourire
Et à t'écouter
Chanter et puis rire
Laisse-moi devenir
L'ombre de ton ombre
L'ombre de ta main
L'ombre de ton chien

Astray

Lets eat till our stomach hurt..
Then dance, lets dance till dawn and more..
Lets laugh till wrinkles in faces appear so clear..
Just stand out and cry till our voices fade..
Then go together, hold on together to the next day’s sunset..

The sun will go, the voices fade.. and pleasure all gone..

Today is a day, tomorrow is another..
Today we are here, tomorrow may not..

feel before tomorrow night though..

Never been as hesitant.
never been that “not sure”..
Shall I do it?
Shall I kick it.. shall I “click it” all thru?!
This time is different, the passion is true.
I need to say it, to ask and know.
Yet always always, doomed..
“don’t know”...

Tomorrow night, tomorrow night..
If you came along with nothing new..
I’ll click it, I’ll click it
once and for all…

Tomorrow night, tomorrow night
I am waiting for you..



Update:
I wished to live it, to kick it
and click it all thru,
I wished to say, to ask and know..
yet all happened so fast and so true..
Tomorrow night, tomorrow night
you've been too generous
but hard on me though...

Today's effect

I HATE MY MOBILE AND NORMAL PHONE..

I HATE MY MOBILE AND NORMAL PHONE..

I HATE MY MOBILE AND NORMAL PHONE..

I HATE MY MOBILE AND NORMAL PHONE..

I HATE MY MOBILE AND NORMAL PHONE..

I HATE MY MOBILE AND NORMAL PHONE..

I HATE MY MOBILE AND NORMAL PHONE..

I HATE MY MOBILE AND NORMAL PHONE..

I HATE MY MOBILE AND NORMAL PHONE..

Time or after sometime..

If thoughts die,
What you guess of a human being?!

You whom I can not touch, smell or see.

It’s been long you haven’t visited me. It’s been long you’ve left me alone thinking at nights.
I miss the dialogues we’ve had without words, the long chit-chats without modern technologies; and sharing the silence, the beautiful silence we’ve created worlds apart.

Now you are no longer here, you no longer talk to me, guide me.. or pass me by with the smiling face I’ve drawn in dreams and vivid skies…
where are you, my friend?

The world looks less beautiful, a revolving dying flower lost in some space. Now I feel my thoughts turning into a helpless being waiting and waiting and waiting.. but you whom I can not touch, smell or see.. never show your face.. and never exist..

I do not know..

Past couple of days are some of the worst. But life should go on, and never stops. There should be something you linger to. A dream, a hope, a wish, vacation, going out, a friend’s phone call.. Didn’t I tell you before, we spend most of our life waiting :) ?

Something inside you always wake you up when you go down, something hidden, mysterious.. away from any concrete abstracts. Something tells me I deserve a better life somewhere. And so, I do not like being down. I hate being sad… I hate passing days with continuous news each one is worst than the other.

I say, enough frustrations for the time being. Moemen wrote a post in his blog and I 2nd with every single beat in my heart. And just.. I do not know.. and I do not know when I’d know… I am feeling sad with a heavy heart.

Hours ago I was working on my digital integrated circuits report. One hell of another torture. Never mind the usual list of curses regarding college, people, lecturer.. etc. but here it goes, I opened my English play list and listened. Its been ages haven’t heard a thing.. Arabic took part of my daily life, and so I gave up on English just like how I gave up listening to ELS, gave up DXing, gave up English books, gave up phoning friends..

But wonder why, today while listening to the songs at random, it sounded much prettier than usual. The same play list, same usual rhyme.. but it was sweeter.
Was it that I missed my songs? Or missed myself listening to them? Or just missed any sort of the slightest change in life?

There is always something missing. Something I can’t define. Something I need but can’t find. Can’t know where to start searching or whom to ask.
There are people I need in my life, but when I need them the most, they are lost. Lost in life or the wider space. They are no longer here.. and I keep pitying the moments passing.

Regreting is one of my finest traits.
I try to cut it down, but of no use. You know what, sometimes that inner call tells me never to regret. Just be happy, you are still having the choice to do mistakes.
Would you believe it is so..?!

Hmm, blubbering again and again.. I do not have someone to talk to tonight, while I am in bad need to uncharged..
No, actually there are a lot on my list, but I am appearing offline as usual. Just not in the mood for talking seriously, even though I would dye to call the 1st number on my mobile whoever s/he is.

Sometimes I believe “lasto adri” or “I do not know” is the best title I got for myself after “Blue”.. I am sad without knowing what I want for real or what would turn me high again. I want to be attractive, smart, friendly, cultured, wise… I do not know… other moments I think the best thing I have in life is to keep the people I cherish till forever. But always, forever rushes very fast.