Wednesday, November 01, 2006

I do not know..


Past couple of days are some of the worst. But life should go on, and never stops. There should be something you linger to. A dream, a hope, a wish, vacation, going out, a friend’s phone call.. Didn’t I tell you before, we spend most of our life waiting :) ?

Something inside you always wake you up when you go down, something hidden, mysterious.. away from any concrete abstracts. Something tells me I deserve a better life somewhere. And so, I do not like being down. I hate being sad… I hate passing days with continuous news each one is worst than the other.

I say, enough frustrations for the time being. Moemen wrote a post in his blog and I 2nd with every single beat in my heart. And just.. I do not know.. and I do not know when I’d know… I am feeling sad with a heavy heart.

Hours ago I was working on my digital integrated circuits report. One hell of another torture. Never mind the usual list of curses regarding college, people, lecturer.. etc. but here it goes, I opened my English play list and listened. Its been ages haven’t heard a thing.. Arabic took part of my daily life, and so I gave up on English just like how I gave up listening to ELS, gave up DXing, gave up English books, gave up phoning friends..

But wonder why, today while listening to the songs at random, it sounded much prettier than usual. The same play list, same usual rhyme.. but it was sweeter.
Was it that I missed my songs? Or missed myself listening to them? Or just missed any sort of the slightest change in life?

There is always something missing. Something I can’t define. Something I need but can’t find. Can’t know where to start searching or whom to ask.
There are people I need in my life, but when I need them the most, they are lost. Lost in life or the wider space. They are no longer here.. and I keep pitying the moments passing.

Regreting is one of my finest traits.
I try to cut it down, but of no use. You know what, sometimes that inner call tells me never to regret. Just be happy, you are still having the choice to do mistakes.
Would you believe it is so..?!

Hmm, blubbering again and again.. I do not have someone to talk to tonight, while I am in bad need to uncharged..
No, actually there are a lot on my list, but I am appearing offline as usual. Just not in the mood for talking seriously, even though I would dye to call the 1st number on my mobile whoever s/he is.

Sometimes I believe “lasto adri” or “I do not know” is the best title I got for myself after “Blue”.. I am sad without knowing what I want for real or what would turn me high again. I want to be attractive, smart, friendly, cultured, wise… I do not know… other moments I think the best thing I have in life is to keep the people I cherish till forever. But always, forever rushes very fast.

6 Comments:

Blogger Captain L.J.Silver said...

I dont know ...I ve never read such a touching post as this ....It feels like u ve left a piece of ur soul within that touches every soul read it .....

I dont know why ..but there is something different here than ur other blog lasto adri ...sometimes I feel you cant be the author of both of them ...on my own is more intimate maybe I m wrong ..I dont know !

11/02/2006 03:53:00 PM  
Blogger Lasto-adri *Blue* said...

i leave parts of me while writing.. words began to hurt ya sherif..
never was that before.. but.. i simple do not know where they'd take me..
i'm living with open arms for them anyplace, anytime and anyfeeling thru..

11/02/2006 04:12:00 PM  
Blogger Hechkok said...

You can never imagine how your words have touched me , while reading your words I thought how weird she is explaining exactly how I feel now and how I feel sometimes in my lonely nights.
You know i wanted to confort you by something but really I have nothing except that it seams this is the destiny of sensitive people and one day you will find someone who can be always there for you and hold you in his arms when you feel lonely and with him you wont need to express or explain your feelings he will just understand. the weird thing is that I am feeling all these felings while I am engaged , do you see the irony.

11/02/2006 04:34:00 PM  
Blogger انى راحلة said...

"Didn’t I tell you before, we spend most of our life waiting :) ?"

"Something tells me I deserve a better life somewhere."

"There is always something missing. Something I can’t define. Something I need but can’t find. Can’t know where to start searching or whom to ask."

"Regreting is one of my finest traits."

"There are people I need in my life, but when I need them the most, they are lost. Lost in life or the wider space. They are no longer here.. and I keep pitying the moments passing."

"Sometimes I believe “lasto adri” or “I do not know” is the best title I got for myself after “Blue”.. I am sad without knowing what I want for real or what would turn me high again. I want to be attractive, smart, friendly, cultured, wise… I do not know"

So true ya blue..so true..loved it and it really touched my heart..and although words do hurt..we still need to talk and write..keep writing..u have no idea how it touches other ppl who r "feeling sad with a heavy heart"..Thanx

11/02/2006 11:07:00 PM  
Anonymous MeMo said...

Speechless

11/07/2006 09:56:00 PM  
Anonymous The Eyewitness said...

Lasto Adri:
Just wanted to tell you that we are not on this earth to be this persons with no faults, to be this imaginally perfect persons. We are on this earth to Love, to Love ourselves and accepts it's limits and faults, we are here to know that there is a God who Loves us and he always forgive us before we even imagine he did, and we here to Love all the world around us. Don't worry about being perfect, being the real you is being perfect.

11/08/2006 08:56:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home