Monday, October 10, 2005

A dream within a dream

Dear who won’t pass by this letter;

I sat down to my desk today, since a long while now, preparing myself to study. Over 3 weeks passed already in my new semester, and I haven’t taken a single step forward YET! And guess what, I started with “electro magnetic waves” reference. We have been asked to prepare the 1st chapter for over a week now, however, I kept on postponing a day after a day, and now I am stuck, going through some stupid equations called *Maxwell’s equations*
I came across this line *the foregoing differential equations can be converted to integral form through the use of various vector integral theorems* then I stopped.
How gracefully the world keeps on turning and how non-sensely we try to ruin such beauty with complexity of deteriorating minds!!
Naa, I am not against science nor mathematical equations, its just I hate taking so much space, that we treat such delicate nature with a vision of numbers and set of rules..

As I was leaning to grip my pen back after it fell, I saw a folded white paper. I wrote that paper once upon someday for a list of songs I wanted to have, but I forgot all about..
That’s why you go away – Michel learns to rock
Nature boy – Nat king kol
The rain – José Feliciano
The wonder of you – Elvis
Until I find you again – Richard Marx.
Then my eyes met “if you go away – Sheryl bacy”.. Un-expectedly, it was on radio as well.. Call it weird coincidence or a mere luck.. Whatever.. I will still love this hit.
But this time it had a different taste.

Remembering my last decision leaving one thing I thought I love, because of other set of equations I had to stick to and solve mine, although I’d end up a loser both ways. I had to stand against my will to say “Enough I’ll have to leave”
Then in a memory flash I saw you sitting in front of my eyes with your back to the wall and looking up to the ceiling. The sound of my father’s voice asking you: “why are you silent still!” and your empty answer echoed in my ears..

So true you dreamt the impossible dream. So true it wasn’t your fault being worlds apart.

I turned my sight and saw her laughing out loud form her heart. Some how I admire seeing her shining smiling.. yet I turned to face your frown covering your every corner of your face. Somehow you ought to love her smile as well. Somehow you ought to make her happy after all.
Somehow We have to talk and walk.. to laugh and cry as we used to along the way of life and let her lead in front of falling shadows..

Let her live her dream and forget ours.. its her right now..

Yours sincerely;
Who can’t have what was lost..


PS:
sometimes I am glad that “return to sender” theory, exist in my life.

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