Sunday, March 18, 2007

I understand..

I used to make fun of Mi when she used to be down and can’t talk to anybody. I remember those days when she used to come around in the morning with “that look”, when you feel as if she’s mocking you the every second of the day. I used to hate it when she used to leave me in the school breaks and go play basketball while I can’t. She knows I can’t play basketball, and she never cared. Days and days I spent my break in the class reading or talking to the teachers or “dadat”.
Or the days she used to leave me and sit beside Maro, that made me feel even worst. I love her. She knows that. And no matter how long we don’t talk, we are still friends.
Even now when she went to a different department than mine, we are the best of friends. She didn’t ask anyone about her fiancé but me, and that may not prove anything to you. However, knowing her, and knowing how hard that is for her to ask anyone about her private matters, may change your thinking.

But there used to be that question in my mind all the time. Why me and her friends this way? We are different. Or that’s how you’ll notice from a one meeting we are there together. I’m not an extrovert, but at least more open than she is. I’m not a very good laugh, but at least more than she is. She’s very beautiful compared to me (msA). Her parents way of thinking is totally different than mine. Even her cloths style is a bit different. She can wear tight cloth, while me never!
And What else?!
May be the people who know both of us and reading would understand what does “difference” between both of us means.
Yet now as I’m writing, I tell you, I didn’t write because of blubbering the whole matter with you. Its not a time waste chitchat, but may be a simple question I’ve been asked today triggered the answer in my head.

We –me and her- are ice creams with different flavors. Didn’t I tell you people are like ice cream flavors before?
You know I now can understand why she used to leave me and play basketball, or why she used to leave my desk and site beside Maro, for I now do it myself, not with her, but with others. I can tell you now I understand why she used to feel shy this way whenever we used to open “the topic”, I do too. :) .
late I am. But I finally understood.

We are the same not different. We are the same when it comes to being close people, un-able to open up even with our selves. I don’t know why I didn’t notice how much we both can’t cry. I don’t know why I didn’t notice how much we both fancy almost the same type of books. Even our favorite drama actor is the same. Our favorite music was played at her engagement while she was cutting her cake, and in my head I was heading her brother to play it for her and found she already did. And when I think of her and find her calling.. isn’t it all strange?
But I can understand, and figure out it all clearing right now as I type. And wonder, why do we understand people sometimes that late? Isn’t it better, at least to understand who we really are?!

Mi, I wish to call, I wish to call you badly tonight, and though I know you don’t read me my friend… thought of noting it for the memory.. I do really miss our talks before.. I miss it now more than you can ever imagine..

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